Skip to main content

"My Choice!" Is it really that simple?

 

Video source: My Choice                                                           Video source: My Choice - Male Version

Considering that both these videos are now going viral, I could not stop myself from commenting. The videos are above in case you may not have viewed one or the other or both.

Gender equity and equality does not mean pitching one gender against another and invisibilising other gender identities that don't fit in this norm. However, what I wonder is why the furor or the necessity to counter what women say especially when they want to make a choice, or claim their rights.

Why the inherent need to question their intent, or their existence or blame them for their clothes if they face sexual harassment or have been raped? Why ask her to keep experiences of harassment, abuse and violence under cover… for family honour?

Who carries on the family name, while she apparently tarnishes it by being 'loose', having been 'violated'? Who is required for the last rites and every other religious rite and ceremony, while she apparently pollutes these places, ceremonies, rituals etc… by her mere presence, worse still if she is menstruating? Refer to the shame about women menstruating such that a social media site found it offensive enough to pull it down.

Who is the person sexually, harassing, abusing and being violent towards women on the streets and in homes, while she is being asked to stay indoors to protect herself and her family's honour?

Since when did men in our patriarchal society not have the privileges that women were denied? Yes, both videos maybe making a point and the first maybe perceived as biased towards women. So, what is it that calls for the need for countering the voices of women who ask for their rights over their own bodies, life and choices? Last I checked we still live in a patriarchal and heteronormative society where women are judged differently for the same set of things than men. And for people who don't conform to these 'normal' identities of men and women, their experiences and existence don't even feature in most conversations. So, it is a good thing that this video has been made :)



I am not even commenting on the marriage bit, because that is for another post that will follow.

Comments

Most read ones here:

Yes...um...No. Oh, wait! Maybe...!!

Video source: It's simple as tea Consent - what, how, when, till when…the questions are unending and rightly so. It is confusing and it is complicated. I believe that is a good thing, because it is only when we are uncomfortable and confused that we start digging deep and un-layer things or issues. It may drive some of us to engage in conversations and discussions, and I’d say why not? It helps the unlearning, learning and understanding, doesn’t it? So, my confusions, questions and discussions with friends and colleagues left me wondering what is consent -what, how, when, till when, whose? I chanced upon this lovely article using tea as an example , and then some in this video - A Lavni about consent . It helped me to understand quite a bit about the yes, no, and maybe, and some of the in between. This also set me wondering. What if, people (hosts and hostesses) feel obliged that they have to offer you something tea included if you are a guest at their pla...

Learning from my toddler

Toddlers may be young and small too, but that doesn't mean they haven't learned how to manipulate us intelligent adults into getting exactly what they want! From the minute my little guy started talking, I quickly picked up on a few tricks he had for trying to persuade me into doing whatever it is he had in mind. Besides clinging to our inflated calf muscles to get out of going to preschool or day care, here are some popular toddler phrases and their deciphered meanings. 1. "No, no, Mommy.  Me not tired."  I'm totally knackered, but I know that I'll miss all of the fun that goes on after you put me to bed.   2. "Pleeeeeeaaasssssseeeee Mommmmmmy!?!" If I repeat this over and over and over again and drag out every syllable even further every time I say it, she'll totally cave. What a strategy! 3. "I want Papa! No! I want Papa!" I absolutely and totally detest whatever it is you're telling me to do, so I'm g...

The inevitable…

So the inevitable happened:   I became a mother. And went through all the motions mentioned in ' Time to face the music '. I was experiencing motherhood in projectile vomit and runny bottoms on freshly cleaned floors. And I was the latest victim of Murphy’s Law — you know, the old adage that states if something can go wrong, it will go wrong. Usually it involves discovering we ’ ve got a flat tyre and an irate boss making hissing sounds together! It only happens once in a while. Well, not when you have a newborn. When you have a newborn, it happens ALL. THE. TIME, and it goes a little something like this: 1. Your husband says babysitting is fun and the kid’s has been an absolute darling — for  him.  But as soon as you get home from frantically finishing chores and trying not to fall asleep at traffic lights, baby starts to scream bloody murder as horror scenes from Ramsay Brother flick flash through your mind. Moms are just so lucky! 2. 3 seconds ...