Confessions and reflections

Image source:  Esposas de Matrimonio Last time when I wrote about our obsession with fairer a.k.a white skin and how that is racism . A friend pointed out that this extends to marriage as well. That is, our obsession, among a list of other things, extends to marriage too. Thus, it got me thinking about the pressures that we have to face to get married, the before and after of it all. It starts at home and then goes on with relatives, friends and everyone else around us.    Marriage is the milestone for most girls right after graduation so that she does not become too old to find an appropriate match , or bear children. It is also because hopefully, she will not have met someone and decided for herself whom to marry. The ‘gods’ forbid, she is 'senseless' enough to select someone outside of her community! What a shame! Boys often face the pressure of marriage as soon as they get their first job. Now that their market value is established. Especially, if he...

  Video source: My Choice                                                            Video source: My Choice - Male Version Considering that both these videos are now going viral, I could not stop myself from commenting. The videos are above in case you may not have viewed one or the other or both. Gender equity and equality does not mean pitching one gender against another and invisibilising other gender identities that don't fit in this norm. However, what I wonder is why the furor or the necessity to counter what women say especially when they want to make a choice, or claim their rights. Why the inherent need to question their intent, or their existence or blame them for their clothes if they face sexual harassment or have been raped? Why ask her to keep experiences of harassment, abuse and violence under cover… for...

Laughter is the best medicine or so it is said. But if this laughter comes at the cost of ridiculing someone, how can it be medicinal? I have often heard quite a few people say that they are in splits when they watch 'Comedy Nights with Kapil'. I agree that there is some wit and pun in it. But some parts are dehumanising as well. There have been some episodes on the show which have brought up the issues of sex selective abortions, sexual harassment of women and these have conveyed the message that women are humans. But does that also mean that you dehumanise them? What bothers me is the constant threads of characters like the wife, grandmother, aunt and the much loved Gutthi and Palak.   Why are they dehumanising? Because they are constantly ridiculed. For example, if we consider the treatment of the wife, why is she and her natal family members always the butt of jokes? If this was happening to some of us in our private or social lives, we would definitely call...