Confessions and reflections

Image source:  Esposas de Matrimonio Last time when I wrote about our obsession with fairer a.k.a white skin and how that is racism . A friend pointed out that this extends to marriage as well. That is, our obsession, among a list of other things, extends to marriage too. Thus, it got me thinking about the pressures that we have to face to get married, the before and after of it all. It starts at home and then goes on with relatives, friends and everyone else around us.    Marriage is the milestone for most girls right after graduation so that she does not become too old to find an appropriate match , or bear children. It is also because hopefully, she will not have met someone and decided for herself whom to marry. The ‘gods’ forbid, she is 'senseless' enough to select someone outside of her community! What a shame! Boys often face the pressure of marriage as soon as they get their first job. Now that their market value is established. Especially, if he has a

Lying is wrong. That's what we tell them of course. But let's be honest, all parents lie to their kids at some point or another. Whether you lie to protect your child's innocence, to get your kids to do something or to get a little "me time", you're just trying to make parenthood a little easier. And we've all done it. We asked some of our favorite parenting bloggers what white lies they tell their kids - and we must say, they're pretty darn funny! 1.   Yes, Daddy loves building blocks- wake him up first!  If you're anything like me, waking up at the crack of dawn isn't your idea of fun.  All girls need their beauty sleep! 2. Mummy and Daddy are not having an argument, they are just having a disagreement Do you know the saying, "If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it probably is a duck?" 3.   The ice cream man tinkling his bell means he’s sold out  For most parents, there's no way of getting out of

Toddlers may be young and small too, but that doesn't mean they haven't learned how to manipulate us intelligent adults into getting exactly what they want! From the minute my little guy started talking, I quickly picked up on a few tricks he had for trying to persuade me into doing whatever it is he had in mind. Besides clinging to our inflated calf muscles to get out of going to preschool or day care, here are some popular toddler phrases and their deciphered meanings. 1. "No, no, Mommy.  Me not tired."  I'm totally knackered, but I know that I'll miss all of the fun that goes on after you put me to bed.   2. "Pleeeeeeaaasssssseeeee Mommmmmmy!?!" If I repeat this over and over and over again and drag out every syllable even further every time I say it, she'll totally cave. What a strategy! 3. "I want Papa! No! I want Papa!" I absolutely and totally detest whatever it is you're telling me to do, so I'm g

  Video source: My Choice                                                            Video source: My Choice - Male Version Considering that both these videos are now going viral, I could not stop myself from commenting. The videos are above in case you may not have viewed one or the other or both. Gender equity and equality does not mean pitching one gender against another and invisibilising other gender identities that don't fit in this norm. However, what I wonder is why the furor or the necessity to counter what women say especially when they want to make a choice, or claim their rights. Why the inherent need to question their intent, or their existence or blame them for their clothes if they face sexual harassment or have been raped? Why ask her to keep experiences of harassment, abuse and violence under cover… for family honour? Who carries on the family name, while she apparently tarnishes it by being 'loose', having been 'violated'? Who is

So the inevitable happened:   I became a mother. And went through all the motions mentioned in ' Time to face the music '. I was experiencing motherhood in projectile vomit and runny bottoms on freshly cleaned floors. And I was the latest victim of Murphy’s Law — you know, the old adage that states if something can go wrong, it will go wrong. Usually it involves discovering we ’ ve got a flat tyre and an irate boss making hissing sounds together! It only happens once in a while. Well, not when you have a newborn. When you have a newborn, it happens ALL. THE. TIME, and it goes a little something like this: 1. Your husband says babysitting is fun and the kid’s has been an absolute darling — for  him.  But as soon as you get home from frantically finishing chores and trying not to fall asleep at traffic lights, baby starts to scream bloody murder as horror scenes from Ramsay Brother flick flash through your mind. Moms are just so lucky! 2. 3 seconds after you’v

You know what is adorable and so  so  cute? You  –  when you ’ re pregnant and think you actually control how things go in the delivery room. Oh, don ’ t feel so let down; most new mommies think they can prescribe how the birthing process goes. I was one of them too.   If you’re like me you’ve researched the procedure ad nauseam and are such an expert on the process that you’re pretty sure you don’t even need your  gynecologist  present. All these pregnancy books and sites have these great templates to serve up a made to order delivery.  Soothing music, no epidural, no shrieks and definitely no long hours. You hand over your selection to the maître de and then in just a little while, your perfect and smiling angel is placed in your arms. They present the bill to you on a silver platter and you go home with your leftover, namely the child in this case.           I knew EXACTLY how my baby was going to be brought into the world and designed my own birth plan accordin

When you’re expecting, you’re generally told what to expect (there’s a famous book on that too) but there’s a lot to learn especially if it’s your first baby. When I first got pregnant, I didn't even know where my cervix was, so I had a pretty big learning curve. The world wide web provides plenty of misinformation, but let’s face it: it’s good to get at least some basic knowledge without having to ask embarrassing questions – like in my case, “ Oh so that ’ s where you ’ ll cut me up?!!! ” Time to face the music: 1.      There will be a lot of red.  No matter how you push it out (c-section or normal) you will have postpartum bleeding. This enchanting fluid is called lochia and it sounds about as appealing as it is. It lasts as little as two to three weeks or as long as six weeks after birth. The best part is you're given giant, thunder pads in the hospital because you can't use tampons during this time (it can introduce bacteria into your healing uterus). And if

It all began when I willingly became the recipient of the sperm that found its way to the egg. That too in the missionary position! No, this isn’t about sex. It’s about the aftermath – the baby. So after a long and tiresome 5 year planning (these were the days when the planning commission actually existed), I was carrying. Pregnancy by far the most amazing time of my life but it was also the scariest, most guilt ridden, and tiring time too (I think it gives you a preview for actually having a kid). During my tenure, I was astounded and fazed with all the information of what I should and shouldn't do while pregnant. Everything finished off with "to be on the safe side, just avoid it." Well that's great, only that then I’d be expected to sit in Fort Knox eating washed, organic paalak and popping folic acid week after week if I did that. As much as I wanted to turn a blind eye to all these scare tactics, I couldn't help but think "what if". Wha

I had written this some time back, but was not sure about posting it since I was not aware it would strike a chord with anyone. But then, I saw the article " These Experiences On The Delhi Metro Will Make You A Tad Nostalgic ", and  e specially the one I have pasted below. It struck me then, that perhaps, I was not the only one feeling like this. Image source:  These Experiences On The Delhi Metro Will Make You A Tad Nostalgic This is something that I often see on the metro while travelling to and from office. Most often from office. An incident that occurred a some days ago upset me most. A lady boarded the metro, she was perspiring, the coach was not very crowded, so she planted her bags in a corner, looked around and sat down, on her bags. Hmmm… I thought there were announcements in both Hindi and English that requested passengers not to do just this. But, she did nevertheless, want to take a wild guess why? Because no one offered her a seat. This woman may