It all began when I willingly became the recipient of the sperm that
found its way to the egg. That too in the missionary position! No, this isn’t
about sex. It’s about the aftermath – the baby.
So after
a long and tiresome 5 year planning (these were the days when the planning
commission actually existed), I was carrying. Pregnancy by far the most amazing
time of my life but it was also the scariest, most guilt ridden, and tiring
time too (I think it gives you a preview for actually having a kid).
During my
tenure, I was astounded and fazed with all the information of what I should and
shouldn't do while pregnant. Everything finished off with "to be on the
safe side, just avoid it." Well that's great, only that then I’d be
expected to sit in Fort Knox eating washed, organic paalak and popping folic
acid week after week if I did that.
As much
as I wanted to turn a blind eye to all these scare tactics, I couldn't help but
think "what if". What if I did miscarry because I popped a roadside
golgappa? What if my baby was deformed because I orphaned the poor wasp, which
was almost ready to give me a boxer’s eye? I second-guessed and went to someone
who has all the answers - no God wasn’t really free especially so I settled for
Google.
Now that
my baby’s here, I look back on that time with resentment and ire. Not because
there are ample warnings of what the ‘chandra grahan’ can do to your foetus or
how gorging on stale rotis can guarantee curly hair, but these so called
know-it-alls drop these little nuggets in your lap with terms like
"studies have shown" and "experts agree" but with very few
studies or experts to back them up. Then they wrap it all up with the ever
endearing "to be on the safe side, avoid it "to absolve themselves if
your kid grows a third eye because you ate a chewing gum in your first
trimester. You're left praying and asking for divine forgiveness with the ever
looming "be on the safe side" hanging over your head if, god forbid,
you decided to have a cup of coffee with dinner. So I decided to rant as much
as I could on many of the subjects that haunted me throughout my pregnancy to
shine a little perspective on all of it.
I'm not a
doctor. No, I’m not a quack either. This is only a compilation of the things I
experienced and you yourself need to decide which things you think you should
avoid during your pregnancy and things that you shouldn't. All I can guarantee
is that down the road we'll all find out we chose good, bad and even ugly and
it's a miracle any of us are here at all.
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