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Learning from my toddler

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Toddlers may be young and small too, but that doesn't mean they haven't learned how to manipulate us intelligent adults into getting exactly what they want! From the minute my little guy started talking, I quickly picked up on a few tricks he had for trying to persuade me into doing whatever it is he had in mind.

Besides clinging to our inflated calf muscles to get out of going to preschool or day care, here are some popular toddler phrases and their deciphered meanings.

1. "No, no, Mommy.  Me not tired." 
I'm totally knackered, but I know that I'll miss all of the fun that goes on after you put me to bed. 

2. "Pleeeeeeaaasssssseeeee Mommmmmmy!?!"
If I repeat this over and over and over again and drag out every syllable even further every time I say it, she'll totally cave. What a strategy!

3. "I want Papa! No! I want Papa!"
I absolutely and totally detest whatever it is you're telling me to do, so I'm going to guilt you into thinking that the father is my favorite parent. But then I'll do the same thing to him when you are not around!

4. "My! My!
This isn’t an emotion of amazement; it just means that sharing crap is for the birds.

5. "I wanna KFC, Mommy."
No matter how many times she tries to get me to eat my lauki, it’s not going to happen. And if I keep asking for chicken popcorn and I'm real sweet about it, she'll forget about the green demon and break out the oily and fried goodness.

6. "No! I want Chota Bheem.”
There is no way in hell I'm letting you watch Suits today. Give it up for the one you procreated, mom.

7. "But it hurrrttsss, Mommy!"
Put the damn Savlon back on the shelf  and I swear I'll shut up.

8. "No want you! I do it myself!"

For the love of mankind, lady –leave me alone!
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