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Some things you can (can't) control!

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You know what is adorable and so so cute? You – when you’re pregnant and think you actually control how things go in the delivery room. Oh, don’t feel so let down; most new mommies think they can prescribe how the birthing process goes. I was one of them too. 

If you’re like me you’ve researched the procedure ad nauseam and are such an expert on the process that you’re pretty sure you don’t even need your gynecologist present. All these pregnancy books and sites have these great templates to serve up a made to order delivery.  Soothing music, no epidural, no shrieks and definitely no long hours. You hand over your selection to the maître de and then in just a little while, your perfect and smiling angel is placed in your arms. They present the bill to you on a silver platter and you go home with your leftover, namely the child in this case. 
  
  
I knew EXACTLY how my baby was going to be brought into the world and designed my own birth plan accordingly: 

Natural birth; no drugs, calm and quiet, so I can bring my cherub into a serene new world. 
Music in the background, along with some soft lighting which just changed magically to some other women hollering for help while birthing in the same labour room! 
  
Very few people were to be involved in the birthing process – my husband, the doctor, one nurse, the baby and the star of the show – me. Then to my husband’s profound joy, he was told to stay away from the scene.  
  
The labour started naturally.  And according to the text, I was now supposed to ease into the bed and breathe deeply in a controlled pattern. Three or four big pushes and my baby would burst into the world.  There would be NO episiotomy, no tearing, and no stitches. 
  
There were a few other side dishes checked off on the a la cart order as well. Then it was time for this elegant and demure event to begin. My doctor checked my bloated tummy and me and decided I needed to know what pain was. So I was cut up. 
  
And that’s when the real contractions began. Holy. Whatever. 
Well, that whole “natural” birth went right out the window.  I want it out NOW!!!! What is taking so long? Can’t I get an epidural with a side of laughing gas or something? WHERE THE HELL IS MY MORON OF A HUSBAND????  My cute birthing outfit is on the floor covered in yuck. 
  
If you would like to have a natural birth, here are my top 5 tips: 

  1. Know that you can do this!  Know that you are strong enough and your body was made for this.  The chemicals that your body will release naturally are so much more effective than any artificial drugs. 
  2. Find a medical provider and facility that will support your decisions in childbirth.   Don't let yourself be bullied or intimidated. 
  3. Take a childbirth class.  Hypnobirthing may seem a little "out there" but really it's all about teaching yourself to relax (another key to being able to give birth without drugs!)  
  4. Surround yourself with people with positive birth stories and don't listen to birth horror stories.  
  5. Spend time daily relaxing and visualizing the natural birth you are hoping for.  The brain is a powerful tool and can yield powerful results when trained. 
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