Confessions and reflections

Image source:  Esposas de Matrimonio Last time when I wrote about our obsession with fairer a.k.a white skin and how that is racism . A friend pointed out that this extends to marriage as well. That is, our obsession, among a list of other things, extends to marriage too. Thus, it got me thinking about the pressures that we have to face to get married, the before and after of it all. It starts at home and then goes on with relatives, friends and everyone else around us.    Marriage is the milestone for most girls right after graduation so that she does not become too old to find an appropriate match , or bear children. It is also because hopefully, she will not have met someone and decided for herself whom to marry. The ‘gods’ forbid, she is 'senseless' enough to select someone outside of her community! What a shame! Boys often face the pressure of marriage as soon as they get their first job. Now that their market value is established. Especially, if he...

  Video source: My Choice                                                            Video source: My Choice - Male Version Considering that both these videos are now going viral, I could not stop myself from commenting. The videos are above in case you may not have viewed one or the other or both. Gender equity and equality does not mean pitching one gender against another and invisibilising other gender identities that don't fit in this norm. However, what I wonder is why the furor or the necessity to counter what women say especially when they want to make a choice, or claim their rights. Why the inherent need to question their intent, or their existence or blame them for their clothes if they face sexual harassment or have been raped? Why ask her to keep experiences of harassment, abuse and violence under cover… for...